A mother’s hug lasts long after she lets go…

Easter Sunday, 2023 finds me sitting in Mom’s room at St. Paul’s, listening to Sandi Patty and Gaither Homecoming because I know that, if she is aware of her surroundings, she will find this music comforting.  But Mom doesn’t know it is Easter, and, if I’m honest with myself, she probably doesn’t know I’m here.  Yesterday she recognized me and, several times, she cradled my face with her hands. Once when I tried to give her a drink, she said, “No, honey.”  Today she has not spoken and she does not see me when she looks at me through blank eyes.  Since she took a turn for the worse last fall and entered hospice, there has been a little less of her each time I have visited.  When I came in November she was still walking and she worked on a jigsaw puzzle with me. When I came after Christmas she was still trying to tell me stories about Portersville.  When I visited two weeks ago, we went to the dining hall, where she did not want to eat anything. We sat watching her electronic picture frame, and tried to name family members, (“That’s Kay”) and could still have simple conversations.  By this weekend, there is almost nothing left of her, either in body or in spirit.  All four of her kids were together in the room with her–for the first time since my nephew’s wedding in 2019–but she wasn’t really aware of it.  Her eyes still lit up when Paige, her ever-faithful nurse, said “Tim’s here!” and she reached out for me with her hand, touched my cheek and caressed it.  Today….nothing

It’s time for me to drive back to Alfred to teach tomorrow, but this time, I know that when I walk out the door, I won’t be with her again in this world.  The next time I drive to Pennsylvania–the trip I have made hundreds of times in my life–it will be for her funeral.  So how do I get up and leave?  She will not hear me say goodbye; she will not respond when I kiss her on the cheek.  Our 64-year journey together has drawn to a close and, even after this long decline, I’m still not ready to let go.

Mom’s path took her from Pennsylvania to college in Indiana in 1950 and back again 18 years later, with a family of six. She settled into New Wilmington and stayed there for fifty years until she could no longer live alone, and then moved here to Greenville.  I sit in her room looking at the last artifacts of her life:  the wooden rocking chair in which she rocked me as a baby; the old set of bedroom furniture that she painted pale green for the girls’ room; the little porcelain flowered lamps; the clock with the pictures of the twelve grandchildren as the hours.  She’ll never use her walker again….she’ll never work the family picture puzzles from Emmy again…..she won’t play her favorite Sandi Patty CD again….and she won’t say my name again. 

Mom fidgets in her bed, never quite able to get comfortable, but she does not answer or look at me when I ask if she needs anything.  Twenty years ago, we watched Dad go through the same process as he lay dying in the hospital.  When he drew his final breath, we were all in the room with him.  Dad fell ill and died within a week, with the family gathered.  Mom might be alone when she dies.  When my time comes to be fidgeting on my deathbed, will I remember this day? That day with Dad? How much is Mom even aware of anything? She has spent much of her final months focused on Grandpa & Grandma B; is she thinking about them? About seeing them in heaven?  Does she remember that she had four kids?

The best I can do is to remember for her…remember the happy, playful, carefree, and magical childhood which was her enduring gift to the four of us. We never had enough money during our growing-up years and Mom and Dad never had a good marriage, but I did not realize either of things until I was much older.  Instead, we knew her endless energy and creativity: the games, adventures, hikes in the woods, coloring books and crayons, rock collecting, parties, holiday rituals, her stories, a great love of reading and books, and a strong family bond that has endured throughout our lives. 

Now it is Monday morning: I stayed one extra day because I just could not tear myself away yesterday before night fell.  I went back to New Wilmington and slept at Sally’s, and then came back early this morning.  When dear Paige came in and turned Mom over so she was facing me she said again, “Look, Tim’s here!” Mom opened her eyes, smiled at me, and briefly knew me.  She reached out and took my hand. That will likely be our last exchange, and one that I will always cherish. 

Tuesday Postscript on Mom’s passing:

Hospice estimated on Saturday that we still had at least two weeks, but somehow I never could find peace about leaving (must’ve been a God thing) On Monday I even had my truck packed to go, but I just couldn’t tear myself away. I couldn’t even bear to go down to Sally’s so I slept on the floor by Mom’s bed. Then on Tuesday morning I was ready to leave again to go back to Alfred to teach. But then a hospice worker arrived and was surprised by Mom’s rapid descent. She estimated a day or two at most. Sally jumped into her car and got there just in time. So when the end came Sally and I were both with her. As Mom breathed her last, Spotify was playing Sandi Patty’s version of Mom’s favorite hymn, How Great Thou Art. I’m forever grateful that Mom wasn’t alone at the end and that precious Sally was with me; I’d have come undone to go through that alone. Mom’s ending brought me great peace and I’m so deeply grateful to all of you for your overwhelming support and love. ❤️

Goodbye Mom, you loved us well…and I love you forever.

(My last picture with Mom on Sunday afternoon)

Like a Good Neighbor?

…Would State Farm be there?

When I am poorly treated by a corporation, I make my complaints known, loudly–a trait I inherited from my father (for example: UPS, United Airlines, Exxon, PS: I’m still mad at all of them.) I’ve been hoping that this would not be the case with my homeowner’s insurance policy, which I have dutifully paid for 31 years and never used.  So, after my Christmas disaster, I called and left a message for State Farm Insurance.  Very quickly I received a call back from—I swear I am not making this up—“Jake, from State Farm.”  He says that some people hang up on him because they think it is a prank call.  Jake was very friendly, sympathetic, and helpful and said that I would shortly be hearing from Stacy, the claims adjuster assigned to my case.

Flashback to 40 years ago, when I finished grad school and took my little 1973 VW Beetle and moved to Texas, I was no longer eligible to be on my parents insurance.  (Whoever their insurance company was had been decidedly UNHELPFUL after Mom’s catastrophic 1982 car accident, so I knew I wanted a different company.) I looked up insurance in the Longview phonebook yellow pages and I remember that I liked the State Farm logo because it reminded me of road signs I’d seen while growing up in Indiana.  Not having anything better to go on, I called them and took out a very cheap policy for my very cheap car.

When I moved back to Western NY seven years later, I found a State Farm agency in Olean and transferred my policy there.  In 1992 I expanded that coverage to include homeowner’s insurance on the Fillmore house.  Around that same time, I had my first reason to use my automobile insurance.  I was attending my doctoral program at UB and one December afternoon, an undergraduate student–having just failed a final exam–came barreling through a UB parking lot like a bat out of hell and slammed into the passenger door of my little Honda.  Neither of us were hurt, but both cars sustained damage.  She hung around only long enough to trade names and insurance companies. It seemed entirely obvious to me that it was her fault, but a couple of days later I got a threatening phone call from her father, a Long Island lawyer, trying to pin the crash on me!  Shaken, I called Marcella Smith, my agent in Olean, and told her my tale of woe.

Marcella, God bless her, was indignant and exclaimed, “Well, you tell Mr. Hotshot Long Island Attorney that you have ALL OF STATE FARM STANDING BEHIND YOU and that if he has anything else he wants to say he’s to SAY IT TO ME AND NOT TO YOU!” I knew in that moment that I would never change my insurance company and I never have.

Still I felt vaguely nervous about the frozen pipes and my coverage in the face of some staggering repair costs.  So, all of that build up to say, State Farm has proven to be true to their motto.  Stacy called me today to say that they have approved all of my repair costs and that I won’t have to pay anything after my deductible.  Further, that they will cover to have the house professionally cleaned afterwards and that if I need to stay in a hotel they will cover that and she included extra money to more than cover all of the groceries that were ruined in the pantry.  She went on to say that if I incur additional expenses related to the mishap anytime in the next two years I can also send her receipts from those as well.  (And then within an hour, all of the money for the repairs was deposited in my checking account!)

So, since I squawck when things don’t got well: I want to give credit where credit is due:  State Farm IS there like a good neighbor. Thank you Marcella, and Jake, and Stacy, and all of you reading this, for being so wonderfully concerned and supportive of me and my dear old house!

An Obituary for my Patriotism

A friend–whose perspective I value–challenged me yesterday on my dark view of the Fourth of July celebration this year. I decided to expand my answer into a blogpost.  At issue (I believe) is whether I could make more of a difference in improving the system by aligning myself with my neighbors and fellow citizens in love of country.  Throughout my life I have been a decidedly patriotic person, both by disposition and as a student and teacher of history. I have largely approached my teaching from a sympathetic perspective to the nation that America has tried to be.  I flew and wore the flag and had a patriotic-themed wedding on the fourth of July. But everything has changed for me across the past five years. 

I find my patriotism–and any sense of allegiance to my nation–destroyed by:

  • the hate-filled, racist Trump years;
  • the systemic racism that seems to only get worse, not better, to the point that now some Republicans are openly running as white-nationalist candidates;
  • our utter disregard for the environment and our concomitant destruction of the planet for our children and grandchildren;
  • the gross economic inequality of capitalism and its disregard for marginalized members of society as wealth increasingly flows to the top 1%;
  • our failure to provide universal health care;
  • our racist, hate-fueled response to our Southern border,
  • the savage inequalities of our schools;
  • the January 6th treasonous attack on our capital and our democratic election;
  • the terrifying recent restrictions on our freedoms by SCOTUS, the corrupt actions by Justice Thomas and his wife, and the presence of Brent Kavanaugh on our highest court.
  • our refusal to consider gun reform: choosing instead to continue to allow the slaughter of our innocents in their schools, concerts, theaters, churches, and parades.

So do I still believe in America? No, I do not.  My patriotism has died a thousand deaths; it died at Sandy Hook and Uvalde; it died watching the life being snuffed out of George Floyd; and it died on the night of November 9, 2016 when I realized that enough Christian voters in electoral swing states had voted for the pussy-grabbing candidate to carry him to the desk of Abraham Lincoln.

Most of my right-wing family and friends have unfriended or unfollowed me, but if you are reading this and disagreeing with me, PLEASE don’t bother to tell me, “if you don’t love America, leave.” That is an incredibly inappropriate response to the pain I am feeling, and not an option when this has been my home for sixty years, when my much-loved house, job, and community are here.  The “America: love it or leave it” mentality is a significant part of the problem;  it needs to be “America: love it or fix it.”  But is that even still possible?  The selfish greed at the heart of capitalism suggests to me that we cannot, as do the disreputable and racist policies of the Republican party, and a wretched and bitter two-party system which is based ONLY on the destruction of the other party. 

I don’t know whether the end of America lies with the 1980 election of Ronald Reagan, the rise of Fox News, the hijacking of Evangelical Christianity, or perhaps, most likely, the 2008 meeting held by Mitch McConnell in which he openly stated that the sole focus of the Republican party across the next four years would be to ensure the failure of the Obama presidency.  I believe that in that moment he set the course for the end of our Republic. 

So no, I don’t see myself celebrating “Independence” Day for the foreseeable future.  Someone please surprise with a reason that I should be more optimistic than this.  Because I am not.  

When did we decide to put politics above relationships?

I love the Facebook “memories” feature, but at times it is also painful. Between 2016 and 2021 I was quite vocal (both in person and on social media) in my opposition to Trump; my conscience would not permit me to remain silent about the terrible things happening to our nation.  In the months since those dark days finally ended, I have tried to return to being mostly apolitical on Facebook.  But the memories feature regularly reminds me of the friends and relatives which I used to have,–and interact with regularly–who chose their love for Donald Trump over their relationship with me. I will forever be sad about that. 

In 1980, I wanted Jimmy Carter to win and some of my friends preferred Ronald Reagan.  But a funny thing happened after that election: we still liked and respected each other.  In those days there was no expectation that Christians would monolithically vote for one party.  Those civil, mutually-respectful political times have long since ended.  

Today we tend to put political affiliation above relationships. Obviously, those people, who unfollowed, unfriended, or in some instances BLOCKED me (to be sure that we can never be friends again) are not reading this post and so won’t know how saddened I am by the dissolution of those relationships.  But I guess I wanted to say it anyway, and to thank those of you who are still hanging in there with me.  Not all of us see eye-to-eye politically, but we care enough about each other to refuse to allow some politician to end our friendship. And for that, I am grateful.

And to all of us…is there any path back to civil political discourse and friendships that transcend politics? Back to the united in United States?

“Did heaven look on and would not take their part?”

Watching the atrocities being committed against the Ukrainian people, their children, even their pets, is incapacitating me.  Putin’s evil forces are destroying homes, infrastructure, and power sources, thus leaving the Ukrainian people to suffer, flee, freeze, starve, and die. The madman appear to be actually targeting fleeing civilians. Peace-loving people around the world watch in horror as the elderly stumble in flight, children sob, dogs howl in pain, and families are torn asunder.  And why?  How can Putin get away with this? Is there no justice in the world?  Putin is a multibillionaire totalitarian ruler who already controls the nation with the largest land mass on earth. 

Fleeing Ukranian family lies dead in the streets near Irpin

In the Old Testament book of Samuel, God sends the prophet Nathan to tell King David the tale of a rich man who seized a poor man’s beloved only animal–his pet lamb–and slaughtered it to feed his guests, even though the rich ruler himself had thousands of animals.  Outraged, David decreed that the man must immediately be put to death.  God?  Where are you?  When do reach out with your righteous hand of justice for the people of Ukraine? Matthew 8:26 promises us: Look at the birds of the air… your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Putin’s atrocities in Ukraine call to mind Macduff’s anguished cry in the Shakespearean tragedy, Macbeth, “Did heaven look on and would not take their part?” 

I know that inhumanity to others has always been with us around the globe and throughout history, and that suffering is not unique to the Ukrainian people, yet somehow, something feels worse about this. Perhaps because Europe has enjoyed relative peace since the second world war. Perhaps it is merely the wall-to-wall news coverage of the images of the terror raining down from the skies. My faith in humanity, and even in God, has been decimated by the scope and horror of this human tragedy, specifically by watching the force of pure evil that Putin has unleashed on these innocent, freedom-loving people. 

History has been a long struggle between civilization and savagery. Have we made no progress at all since 1945? How can this be happening in 2022? Maybe it was the woman sleeping in a bomb shelter with her collie. Maybe it is tearful goodbyes between sobbing children and grieving fathers: knowing they may never see one another again. Confronted with these scenes, something dies inside of me as well. How can each of us not imagine ourselves in their places? Putin has no soul, but the rest of us still do; God, are you watching your children also? Will You take their part?

Fleeing Ukranian woman sleeps in bomb shelter with her pet collie

6:00 pm Update. War criminal Putin bombed and destroyed a maternity hospital in Ukraine today. “The Russians have lost their humanity.” — President Zelenskyy

Farewell, Sweet Tillie

“Everyone thinks that they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.” – W. R. Purche

I chose you, sight unseen, and went to retrieve you over in Busti (?), New York.  The breeder had two simultaneous litters, born one day apart, and I could hear the noise from the puppy pen before I even got out of my car. I held out my hands to first hold my beautiful little bundle of joy, wrapped in sable & white; I fell in love with you in an instant.

One of my earliest memories was taking you for a walk, a couple of weeks later at a basketball tournament in Binghamton. Off in the distance you and I both heard the familiar cacophony of puppies barking.  I looked at you and saw a faraway puzzled look in your eyes as your tiny ears perked up, hearing the siren call of your litter mates.  You had no way of knowing that we were 250 miles from your homestead.  We were in a big wooded open field so you were off leash.  I could tell from your stance that you were about to make a break for it, and go and find your family again.  You started, then looked back at me, then started again, then looked back at me. “Tillie” I said softly. You looked back in the direction of the barking then came bounding full throttle back to me…..I chose you over the internet, but on that day in Binghamton, you chose me.

Neither of us could have known then–when you were that little bundle of energy and mischief—of the endless comfort and companionship you would provide during the tumultuous decade that lay ahead:  unemployment; Uncle Bruce’s death; first Anthony, then Samantha, then Olga, and finally JonDavid moving away, until it was just you and me rattling around the empty house.  We faced the haunting specter of cancer and open-heart surgery with you faithfully lying by my side during my long recoveries.  A move to a new job and a new home. A terrifying pandemic.  Whatever the world threw at me, my days always began and ended the same way: snuggling with my faithful furry friend.

I think of the thousands of miles we walked together, where I sorted out my thoughts and we silently bonded over the shared experience of exploration: the greenway trail, the ocean beach in Virginia, that one single day when we hiked 27 miles in Letchworth Park. Sometimes we walked with Snickers, sometimes with Troy, sometimes with Sally & Gunner, but usually just the two of us, up our favorite path — Dugway Road in Fillmore, watching the changing cycle of the four seasons.

Tim & Tillie, Tillie & Tim…at the end of the day, at the end of the trail, there was always the two of us.  But the years passed too quickly for us and this past Saturday night, you were gone, and I was left alone; nothing feels right in my world anymore. The big house in Alfred feels impossibly empty without you and every room bears reminders of you.  There were still trails and treats and adventures for us; we have barely even explored Alfred; please come back, we weren’t done yet. Eleven years wasn’t nearly enough. Yes, there will be other dogs, but no others will have lived in both houses; will have lived with and known the kids; will know Fillmore; and will have known me as anything but an old man.  

My cousin says you are waiting for me at my heavenly mansion.  Jan says you are playing on God’s lawn with Toby, Tasha, Taylor, and Tessie.  Will Rogers said, “If there are no dogs in heaven, then I want to go where they went.”  I am not sure what to believe, sweet Tillie, but I have to believe that you and I will be together again in the world that is to come, otherwise I will never make it through this one alone.  I love you forever, my precious girl.

The dog no one wanted…

Too big.”
“Too loud.”
“Too strong.”
“Too aggressive.”
“Too naughty.”
“She runs away too often.”
How many times had she been brought back to the shelter?
Sarah didn’t know any of that.
All she knew was this:
For a creature who wanted nothing more than to run wild & free,
She was dying a little, every day, in this tiny cage, at the Norfolk Animal Shelter.
Eventually people stopped taking a chance on her.
And so, day after day, Sarah stared listlessly out of the cage,
with her big, baleful, brown eyes.
Until one day, her beautiful brown eyes met another pair:
But these brown eyes were kind, twinkly, loving, and full of promise.
A 9 yr. old troublemaker that no one else wanted sounded perfect to Samantha.
And so, as had happened many times before,
Sarah was loaded into a car and driven to another new home.
But this time, something was different.
Samantha offered Sarah unconditional love and acceptance;
Samantha loved Sarah for who she was, not who people wanted her to be.
In the beginning Sarah still ran away, daily, weekly.
Always looking for something. What was it?
Freedom? The home she had once loved and lost?
But Samantha cheerfully chased after her, and always brought her back home.
Not back to the animal shelter.
Eventually Sarah moved with Samantha to a big house and yard in a small town,
Where Sarah finally had all of the room and love she had always craved.
A funny thing happened at the new house: Sarah eventually stopped running.
And when she did run….she ran home.
Sarah had found what she was looking for.
Because for Samantha, Sarah wasn’t too anything, except too perfect.
Sarah’s only real fault,
Like that of all dogs,
Was that her time with us was too short.
And so on a cold December day, Sarah left us,
But not before Samantha made Sarah’s last two years, the best of her whole life.
Farewell, sweet Sarah. Thank you for coming home to us.

Seeking Common Ground

 I know that it can’t be easy to be my friend, either in real life, or on Facebook. The past five years of deep political turmoil, societal inequity, and racial reckoning have been traumatic for me and I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut and my Facebook profile focused on pictures of my pets. Partly because of the times we live in, partly because of my career in education, and partly because of who my kids have grown up to be, I care DEEPLY about social justice issues.  This year at Alfred I am teaching one of the “Common Ground” classes for new students in which we struggle to come to terms with our differences and to discuss them with civility.  I applaud Alfred’s efforts to do on a micro level what we desperately need on a macro level in our society.  20 years ago, the Sept. 11th attacks historically brought us together.  Now, the greatest–and far deadlier–crisis we have faced since then has only served to divide us more bitterly. We have prolonged the pandemic because we cannot even agree on if it exists and how to best survive it.  We have responded by shooting minimum wage clerks trying to enforce mask policies; by plotting to kidnap, try, and execute the governor of Michigan over COVID restrictions; by punching schoolteachers in the face; and by distrusting and vilifying the very doctors, scientists, and health-care workers who are trying to save us. When our capitol was invaded and vandalized earlier this year, and police officers were beaten with American flags, despite endless video footage and multiple deaths, we cannot even agree on whether it was an insurrection or loving and patriotic tourists snapping pictures. There is little or no “united” left in the United States.

If you are reading this post it means that, unlike many, you have hung in there with me through my various rants, angry posts, anti-Trump vitriol, and sarcastic memes. I have lost a lot of friends and even family members. I have never unfriended anyone on Facebook because of politics, (although I did unfriend two over abusive treatment of my friends and me.) I try, and I desire to be, quite willing to put up with different political viewpoints and to consider the validity of counter arguments.  This road of deep division and distrust leads to nowhere good, for us, for our communities, our schools, and our society.  While I want to remain open to input and reasoned arguments from the other side and respond with civility to differences, I cannot “agree to disagree” on racism and homophobia.  I know that my liberal views put me at odds with many other believers. I can only offer that I am trying my best to live out my faith in the way that makes the most sense to me; the Jesus that I understand means that I envision a very wide and inclusive path to heaven.

Even though I am likely “preaching to the choir” here–because most of my Facebook friends who disagree strongly with me have unfollowed, unfriended, or in some instances, blocked me–but I want to thank those of you who have stuck with me.  I always tried to instruct my own kids that, “no one gets up in the morning and plans to be a jerk.”  We are all doing the best we can with the cards we’ve been dealt. My concern is that families, churches, communities and indeed our nation, is in danger of unraveling over these divisions. Human beings have always solved our challenges by coming together.  When I taught high school Social Studies, I always asked my classes to remember “A Bug’s Life” and to watch for “strength in numbers” as one of the most significant and recurring factors in history.  We need strength in numbers more than ever today. I’m not referencing nationalism, but rather, the human community and our need to save the planet, defeat COVID, overcome racism, end gun violence, and live in harmony with one another.  To be honest, I have little or no optimism that this will ever happen. And yet–from time to time–I see little glimmers of hope.  I see it in Alfred University and its Common Ground course, in the self-sacrifice of the members of the local Fire and Ambulance Company that I have joined, I see it in believers who are trying to live out Christ’s message of transcendent love and social justice.  I see it in the next generation of teachers I encounter in my work at Alfred, and I want, desperately, to see it in myself. 

And so, today, I want to thank you for hanging in there with me and I want to know that if I have offended you with my posts and yet we are still friends, that we are—together–a tiny part of the solution to all of this.  Peace.   

Above all else: protect the children

From the time we were expecting our first child, at least until the last one left for college, I saw myself as having ONE JOB ABOVE ALL OTHERS: protecting my children and keeping them safe. Nothing else really mattered. Our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and so we were frantic to protect the next child. We read of a possible link between waterbeds and miscarriage, so we slept in the twin beds in the guest room until the baby arrived safely.  Even if there was a microscopic chance that the waterbed could harm our child, it was worth the extra precaution. From doctor visits to nutrition to car seats to outlet covers to bike helmets to anticipating any possible dangers at home or at school, their mother and I were vigilant in keeping them safe and well.  (Once when a carseat check determined that JonDavid’s seat wasn’t up to standard, their grandpa–my dad–gave me his credit card and told me to go an buy the safest carseat I could find. Getting my kids safely over the finish line of adulthood was always priority one for me.

As such, I am flabbergasted by the bizarre world in which we find ourselves in which parents are protesting against mask safety, fighting for their child’s constitutional right to get (and possibly die of) COVID. So deep and irrational is their devotion to the former president, that they gladly use their children as a sacrificial offering.  Because Trump insisted on virus-denial and mask and vaccine resistance as hallmarks of devotion among his followers, we find parents punching teachers because of mask policy; an Austin TX father assaulted a teacher and ripped the mask off his face!  Angry parents are protesting school boards for attempting to keep students safe.  We have murderous governors in Florida and Texas legally forbidding schools from having a mask policy, even withholding the salaries of superintendents who defy their orders. Superintendents fighting to protect their students and teachers will now have to work without pay.  The world has gone mad. A simple face covering might protect your child from a deadly virus that has killed more than four million people worldwide. WHY THE HELL WOULD ANY PARENT RESIST that added measure of safety?!

Imagine how ridiculous we look to the rest of the world: countries who can only dream of our access to free vaccines. How I grieve the deadly politicization of this virus by the former president.  If only we could have UNITED to fight it instead of using it to increase the bitter divisions in our nation.  How many untold thousands of Americans would still be alive? And now I’m faced with preparing the next generation of earnest young teachers for this chaos in our classrooms and schools.  Please deserve them.  Please honor the incredibly challenging work being done by schools during the Pandemic.  Please make their lives easier, and safer.

When I don’t understand the other side of an argument, I try to consider it from the other person’s perspective.  So if you get all your information from FOX News or from Trump himself, maybe you believe that the entire virus is a hoax, or that masks don’t work, or that the vaccine doesn’t work.  I can (maybe?) see that. But you know what, where my kids are concerned: I err on the side of caution….Every. Damn. Time.  Ask yourself: How will you feel if you are wrong?  The worst that can happen to me is that I put up with the minor annoyance of wearing a mask around other people. The worst that can happen to you: you lose your kid.

Let’s fight the virus instead of each other.

Roll up your sleeves, America!

Last night on the news I watched the tragic images coming out of India and they destroyed me. India lacks the resources that we have and the situation there is horrifying. Family members desperately–and with utter futility–trying to save their loved ones dying of COVID: without hospitals, medicine, doctors, ventilators, oxygen, or vaccines. Funeral pyres signaling India’s sorrow and desperation to the heavens. What those people wouldn’t give for the opportunity to get a vaccination. And yet here, in the United States, ANY of us can now waltz down to the nearest hospital, drug store, or abandoned K-Mart and receive a FREE vaccine to protect us, our loved ones, and our communities. We have a pathway forward. But we also have a tragedy in the making because of the dangerous seeds of misinformation that have been sewn about the virus and the vaccine. 45% of Republicans say they will never get it; more shocking still, 41% of evangelicals say they never will. This ignorance, fear, and selfishness will doom us to living with this virus for years to come.

I have survived cancer twice and open-heart surgery; my health is precious to me. Thus I was the first in line in January to get my vaccinations (with zero side effects.) I can now safely be with my family and friends. I can visit my elderly mother and fly to Texas to see my son. I can invite friends over to my house again. Won’t you please roll up your sleeves and join me in gaining the peace of mind that comes with being vaccinated? I want our lives back.